just me.....~

i just need some respect........ not allot.... just a little.... if that as a friend u guys can't do than just please ignore me.. if going out with you guys in a big group end me up crying all the time, i don't see why will there be any more reason for me to take you guys as my friends.... more than that, i can be that stupid to take all of you as my family.... you can actually talk about sex, breasts, and everything in front of my friends..... why can't you think if your own girlfriend is teased the same way as you did....... will you smile and tell her to chill? they're just joking? although sometimes they go over the limit but they mean no harm? i can still stand it when you guys are just joking among us... but you all did the same although there are my other friends there? until the extend that you can include my mum? who the hell you think you are to talk about my mum?? it's still okay that you scold me with bad words right at my face.... showing me the middle finger in the public.... ignoring the fact that i am a girl....and will feel embarrased... but please..... i won't stand you saying that my mum did not teach me?~! i am not angry.... not at all.... I'm just speechless..... and disappointed... of myself...... that i am such a useless piece of crap that does not even deserve any respect.... please.... don't say sorry to me anymore.... it is not important if you don't mean it... it is just a word you say but will do it again right after the next second... so just keep it for other people who will actually be stupid enough like me to believe your sorrys after you repeat the same thing you do again and again.... and i bet you wouldn't even think of saying sorry because it will be wasting your time right? in the actual fact, i wouldn't want to post this post because i know if i did... i won't be the same although things get better after this, it will never be back as usual anymore... but i still have to.... although i am very thankful for all the things you guys did for me and i am really very happy that i am with you guys because i am always myself when i am with all of you.. but i rather be a person i am not if being a person who i am will end up like this.... if just wanting to hang out and be with all of you for every dinner, i must stand all this, than i rather not having any dinners anymore.... all the things i say above is not referring to what happen today... its to everything i got since last time.... maybe you're thiknig that i am being over sensitive and overeacting, because i think i am too... but i do feel so therefore i have to say so.... and i am sorry that i can't and do not want to be the topic of each and every of your jokes anymore....


oh, and to those other people... who are not included in my family but immitated their jokes... please ass off and keep quiet when you see me the next time... don't use me to joke around just because you want to try to blend in but do not have any sense of humour... they are more important to me and thus whatever they say i can still stand it.. but the fact that you're nothing to me, please **** off... and watch your mouth and whatever you say.......

anyway, sorry for being emo.. again....

-JaNe-