if its about me.. I'm really sorry... i did not thought of it... i thought that i have been with you most of the times when you need me.... but i seriously could not be with you just now... both of us are equally sad, but i need my time alone.... i just can't bare being with another person just now... i know you're by my side most of the time when I'm down... and i really thank you for that.. but there is also many times that when I'm alone too that you do not know.. i just hope that you will understand that i won't expect you to be with me all the time I'm sad... although i will try to do that for you, but I'm not perfect.. i can't be there at times.. of course i will disappoint you sometimes or maybe its every time to you... but i too get disappointed sometimes... I'll try not to repeat again.. and i hope that you can tell me that you need me when you do.. because i just seem to guess wrongly what you need from me all the time.. and I'll try my best to change.... anyway, i just wanna say, i do care about you... but you're always the stronger one.. so i just can't seem to see that when you need me.. and I'm also sorry for taking you for granted that i needed you more than you do all the time.. and definitely, you are not my backup plan.. you have no idea how important you are to me... you're one of my best friend... or maybe, you are my only best friend.. i really do not want us to change... i really like us having our pointless chats... you're the only friend that i can tell each and every of my feelings to... and you're the only friend that i dare to show my real expressions to.. and i hope you need me the same way i do.. and please... just tell me that you need me to be there when you do... because I'm really stupid to find that out myself... and i did ask why... every time i ask you, you will just say nothing.. why can't you just scold me right in front of my face? I'm so so sorry that you feel it that way.. but just because you complain and i did not doesn't meant that you did not do the same thing to me.. i feel the same all the time.. you just never realise what people do but only realise what you do... don't you see why you always think that people take you as a tool.. taking you as a driver, taking you as aperson to eat dinner with, taking you as a backup plan.. it's because you will never see what that person did but you'll only see what you did.. i hope that you just understand that no one can understand how you feel if you don't say it out..
anyway, i just wanna say.. I'm really really sorry for being such a useless friend to you and did not even notice it... im really sorry for not realising how you feel.. and im really sorry for how you actually see me... i'll really try my best to change....
-jane-
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